Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Well, now I know how it hurts to remember, and to think, and to be reminded, to be updated, to accept, to realize, to feel, to have emotions.
Everything hurts. So how do I gracefully move on?
I can't do what Chris did. I can't just change my watch from digital to analog. My situation's more complicated than that.
Everything pings a small reminder, everything triggers the pain button.
It's time to move on yet I'm stupidly stuck behind, left behind, lagging behind. Everyone thinks I'm way ahead in this game, yet what they fail to see is that I'm so far behind in the distant, they think I've left and taken speed ahead of them.
I need to let this pain drop and start my year anew. Yet I'm still lost in stupid thoughts. How do I get new brains in 2 days?
Everything hurts. So how do I gracefully move on?
I can't do what Chris did. I can't just change my watch from digital to analog. My situation's more complicated than that.
Everything pings a small reminder, everything triggers the pain button.
It's time to move on yet I'm stupidly stuck behind, left behind, lagging behind. Everyone thinks I'm way ahead in this game, yet what they fail to see is that I'm so far behind in the distant, they think I've left and taken speed ahead of them.
I need to let this pain drop and start my year anew. Yet I'm still lost in stupid thoughts. How do I get new brains in 2 days?
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
You.
Today could have been a grand 7 years celebration... but now it's just another insignificant date; 2-days-before-Christmas, birthday of 5 or 6 or more friends.. just another day.
However, the memories live on. I may not get to wish you a happy 23rd, or a happy 7th year anniversary.. and I may not be able to tell you the 3 magic words, but as long as you are happy now, I am happy for you too.
God bless you. May all the good things come your way. May happiness be yours to have, and yours to keep. May smiles be always on your face, laughter and joy always part of your daily lives.
I do miss you, but life is good. Take care now ^^
However, the memories live on. I may not get to wish you a happy 23rd, or a happy 7th year anniversary.. and I may not be able to tell you the 3 magic words, but as long as you are happy now, I am happy for you too.
God bless you. May all the good things come your way. May happiness be yours to have, and yours to keep. May smiles be always on your face, laughter and joy always part of your daily lives.
I do miss you, but life is good. Take care now ^^
Christmas note for my family - Dec 23, 08
Dearest beloved family members of mine...
As the year comes to and end, as Christmas draws very much nearer than the week before, my thoughts are filled with how blessed I am to be who I am, and to have what I have, and to be loved by people around me and those faraway too. I am truly blessed to have all of you as my family members. Now, more than ever before, I thank God and thank all of you for all that we've gone through together and for accepting and loving me as I am ^^ I know I have done much crappy things, and my decisions and actions are usually a bit different from your expectations. I would also like to apologize for all my mistakes or harsh exchange of words, not just those of this year, but of previous years before as well.
And now.. for recent updates!!
Last week's Christmas parade was awesome! Our contingent represented 21 countries of residents of our International Center. We carried flags and some wore national costumes as well. I was clad in my 10 year old (or more) baju kurung. As the VP of UPICA, I had to yell and yell to coordinate the monkeys from different countries. It wasn't easy but it was quite fun. Our lantern was gorgeous, as the sky drew darker and as they lit the lantern. I felt so proud to be part of IC, more than before. To be in IC is truly a blessing from God. We paraded around the academic oval with other contingents and passed by 2 main stops, Palma Hall (the biggest class building of UPD) where a massive crowd awaited us and took lots and lots of pics!!! It was awesome. We felt so much like celebrities as we stood in front of the crowd, waving our flags!!! The 2nd stop was Quezon Hall where our lantern was judged and we, the international students of IC were formally introduced
to UPD and to the rest of the Philippines (through national TV!!!). We just waved our flags and our hands as people cheered for us. It was awesome! Seriously ^^ I was so, so happy.
That evening I went for dinner and drinks with some friend. It was nice to drink beer in a baju kurung. Never did THAT before. As you all know, my drinking capability is weak.. so my control is usually a bottle of a light beer, no worries bout that! ^^
The next day, I hung out with a group of Filipino dorm mates as well. It is important for me to know as many dormers as possible, and it was good getting to know new people! The following day, I went to take pictures of lights at the Quezon City circle.. Gorgeous lights..
I cooked for my friends on Saturday for lunch. One of the old residents, Chantal, from Netherlands, was visiting. She cooked a vegetarian dinner for us that evening.
I came over to the IMCS office on Sunday and have been here, and back at the IYCS/ IMCS home last night for a Christmas gathering. Being far away from home, Adrian (the Malaysian IMCS coordinator) made us sing carols and oldies to 'soothe our homesick hearts'.
I'll be off to the highlands tomorrow. Leaving early morning at 5 am.. It's a IMCS office trip. I'm sure it'll be fun.
I miss all of you much, a bit more as Christmas draws nearer. But I know I'm missed too.
Have a blessed celebration, my loved ones. And do take care. Hugssssssss. Biggg hugs.
Ko, Che, keep warm. I know it's cold there now. I'll keep warm here too!
And for the bunch in KL, enjoy the fun!!! ^^
Honey.. dressed in long pants, and a jacket, ready to have a frozen butt in Baguio!!!
As the year comes to and end, as Christmas draws very much nearer than the week before, my thoughts are filled with how blessed I am to be who I am, and to have what I have, and to be loved by people around me and those faraway too. I am truly blessed to have all of you as my family members. Now, more than ever before, I thank God and thank all of you for all that we've gone through together and for accepting and loving me as I am ^^ I know I have done much crappy things, and my decisions and actions are usually a bit different from your expectations. I would also like to apologize for all my mistakes or harsh exchange of words, not just those of this year, but of previous years before as well.
And now.. for recent updates!!
Last week's Christmas parade was awesome! Our contingent represented 21 countries of residents of our International Center. We carried flags and some wore national costumes as well. I was clad in my 10 year old (or more) baju kurung. As the VP of UPICA, I had to yell and yell to coordinate the monkeys from different countries. It wasn't easy but it was quite fun. Our lantern was gorgeous, as the sky drew darker and as they lit the lantern. I felt so proud to be part of IC, more than before. To be in IC is truly a blessing from God. We paraded around the academic oval with other contingents and passed by 2 main stops, Palma Hall (the biggest class building of UPD) where a massive crowd awaited us and took lots and lots of pics!!! It was awesome. We felt so much like celebrities as we stood in front of the crowd, waving our flags!!! The 2nd stop was Quezon Hall where our lantern was judged and we, the international students of IC were formally introduced
to UPD and to the rest of the Philippines (through national TV!!!). We just waved our flags and our hands as people cheered for us. It was awesome! Seriously ^^ I was so, so happy.
That evening I went for dinner and drinks with some friend. It was nice to drink beer in a baju kurung. Never did THAT before. As you all know, my drinking capability is weak.. so my control is usually a bottle of a light beer, no worries bout that! ^^
The next day, I hung out with a group of Filipino dorm mates as well. It is important for me to know as many dormers as possible, and it was good getting to know new people! The following day, I went to take pictures of lights at the Quezon City circle.. Gorgeous lights..
I cooked for my friends on Saturday for lunch. One of the old residents, Chantal, from Netherlands, was visiting. She cooked a vegetarian dinner for us that evening.
I came over to the IMCS office on Sunday and have been here, and back at the IYCS/ IMCS home last night for a Christmas gathering. Being far away from home, Adrian (the Malaysian IMCS coordinator) made us sing carols and oldies to 'soothe our homesick hearts'.
I'll be off to the highlands tomorrow. Leaving early morning at 5 am.. It's a IMCS office trip. I'm sure it'll be fun.
I miss all of you much, a bit more as Christmas draws nearer. But I know I'm missed too.
Have a blessed celebration, my loved ones. And do take care. Hugssssssss. Biggg hugs.
Ko, Che, keep warm. I know it's cold there now. I'll keep warm here too!
And for the bunch in KL, enjoy the fun!!! ^^
Honey.. dressed in long pants, and a jacket, ready to have a frozen butt in Baguio!!!
An email to my family - Dec 17, 08
Hi all.
:)
The weather's so cold nowadays. It's a bit colder than the normal air con room at night..
Been rushing like mad to finish up 2 assignments, which I have completed.. and now my holiday officially begins!
Will be participating in the U.P. Christmas Lantern Parade later. Very excited. My dorm has our own float which I helped build too. I'm so proud of myself.
Yesterday I had my dorm's Christmas Party too. For the gift exchanged, I was supposed to give something to either boy or girl that cost RM 8 (plus minus la).. so I just gave a toothbrush, toothpaste n box of floss. Haha. I know it's a peculiar gift, but my friend who got it was somewhat pleased that at least the gift is practical :)I in return got a photo frame. Well, I'm OK with frames.. but that one wasn't even worth RM 8.. how I knew? The person forgot to remove the price tag.. :P
My classmates and I had a gift exchange too. The girl whose name I picked.. she's a bit erm.. snobbish and stuff. So I just got her a gift voucher for starbucks worth that price. Haha :P And I in return, got a very nice apron and kitchen mittens and pot holder. I'm so pleased. This gift exchange thing is fun as I know it's difficult to receive presents here. I also don't have the money to return their favors if they do. Presents are a bit difficult for me to buy la.
I might be going for a trip with the IMCS friends but it'll be an all expense paid trip. :) most prob going north to the highlands. Whoa, it'll be cold!!!
Anyway, I was inducted as the VP on Dec 4 and went for a council bonding trip on Dec 7 that weekend. Sadly, I had a minor accident at the waterfalls. I was washed slightly downhill by the strong currents and slammed around the big rocks. But as you can see me happily typing here, I'm fine. I just had some cuts and scratches, and bruises.. No major probs. But I'm fine and I know not to be so silly again.
I organized my friend's 20th birthday too. She's Ava, an Indian girl.. very much like me.. bossy and demanding as well. Haha. She was so happy with the party I threw for her (I didn't throw financially, just coordinated A LOT). I turned a lousy looking room in our dorm to look nice enough for a party la. It was fun and my fellow dorm mates were impressed. Hah! :) The same evening, we went out for drinks and I gave another friend Bon, a Japanese, a surprise too. We got her cake and flowers. She turns 21 on Dec 26 but we all won't be around anymore.
I have very good friends here. Joy is the closest friend. She's only 18 but she's a sophomore and we're like best buddies as we're classmates for some subjects. Ava and Bon too are very close to me. They used to cook for me, hang out with me, and just basically be there when I got homesick. Ava's a fine arts student and Bon a sociology exchange student. Having the surprises for them were really my way of thanking them for always being there.
I was also emcee for a program that was held on Dec 6. It was in conjunction and celebration of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. We had a program where some students gathered to learn more about UDHR for half a day. :) On Dec 8, I coordinated a program at a depressed area (a village that is situated on dump site land) for 10 Singaporean students and this exposure was in relation to the violations of Human Rights as well. :)
Life has been.. okay :)
So now it's time to rest. But before I do, I will enjoy myself thoroughly during this evening's Christmas Lantern Parade.
I guess you've all received my Christmas cards for you. I miss you all terribly and horribly as the carols are endless aired at all corners of this part of the world and as the cold chilly wind blows by. Hugss!!!
Mom, thanks for the blouse. It's a bit big la (hehe, I lost weight ma..) but I love it and everyone told me it was nice. I wore it last night during the Christmas party as I was the emcee. :) Also, the fried rice I cooked (halal it was as there are Muslims in my dorm) was a hit and finished off very fast! Oh yeah, I cook well now! Haha..
That's all. Happy Christmas everyone!!! Will write again soon.
Love lots n lots
Honey in the chilly MM
p.s. It's so cold that if you don't wear a jacket at night, you'll freeze. :P
:)
The weather's so cold nowadays. It's a bit colder than the normal air con room at night..
Been rushing like mad to finish up 2 assignments, which I have completed.. and now my holiday officially begins!
Will be participating in the U.P. Christmas Lantern Parade later. Very excited. My dorm has our own float which I helped build too. I'm so proud of myself.
Yesterday I had my dorm's Christmas Party too. For the gift exchanged, I was supposed to give something to either boy or girl that cost RM 8 (plus minus la).. so I just gave a toothbrush, toothpaste n box of floss. Haha. I know it's a peculiar gift, but my friend who got it was somewhat pleased that at least the gift is practical :)I in return got a photo frame. Well, I'm OK with frames.. but that one wasn't even worth RM 8.. how I knew? The person forgot to remove the price tag.. :P
My classmates and I had a gift exchange too. The girl whose name I picked.. she's a bit erm.. snobbish and stuff. So I just got her a gift voucher for starbucks worth that price. Haha :P And I in return, got a very nice apron and kitchen mittens and pot holder. I'm so pleased. This gift exchange thing is fun as I know it's difficult to receive presents here. I also don't have the money to return their favors if they do. Presents are a bit difficult for me to buy la.
I might be going for a trip with the IMCS friends but it'll be an all expense paid trip. :) most prob going north to the highlands. Whoa, it'll be cold!!!
Anyway, I was inducted as the VP on Dec 4 and went for a council bonding trip on Dec 7 that weekend. Sadly, I had a minor accident at the waterfalls. I was washed slightly downhill by the strong currents and slammed around the big rocks. But as you can see me happily typing here, I'm fine. I just had some cuts and scratches, and bruises.. No major probs. But I'm fine and I know not to be so silly again.
I organized my friend's 20th birthday too. She's Ava, an Indian girl.. very much like me.. bossy and demanding as well. Haha. She was so happy with the party I threw for her (I didn't throw financially, just coordinated A LOT). I turned a lousy looking room in our dorm to look nice enough for a party la. It was fun and my fellow dorm mates were impressed. Hah! :) The same evening, we went out for drinks and I gave another friend Bon, a Japanese, a surprise too. We got her cake and flowers. She turns 21 on Dec 26 but we all won't be around anymore.
I have very good friends here. Joy is the closest friend. She's only 18 but she's a sophomore and we're like best buddies as we're classmates for some subjects. Ava and Bon too are very close to me. They used to cook for me, hang out with me, and just basically be there when I got homesick. Ava's a fine arts student and Bon a sociology exchange student. Having the surprises for them were really my way of thanking them for always being there.
I was also emcee for a program that was held on Dec 6. It was in conjunction and celebration of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights. We had a program where some students gathered to learn more about UDHR for half a day. :) On Dec 8, I coordinated a program at a depressed area (a village that is situated on dump site land) for 10 Singaporean students and this exposure was in relation to the violations of Human Rights as well. :)
Life has been.. okay :)
So now it's time to rest. But before I do, I will enjoy myself thoroughly during this evening's Christmas Lantern Parade.
I guess you've all received my Christmas cards for you. I miss you all terribly and horribly as the carols are endless aired at all corners of this part of the world and as the cold chilly wind blows by. Hugss!!!
Mom, thanks for the blouse. It's a bit big la (hehe, I lost weight ma..) but I love it and everyone told me it was nice. I wore it last night during the Christmas party as I was the emcee. :) Also, the fried rice I cooked (halal it was as there are Muslims in my dorm) was a hit and finished off very fast! Oh yeah, I cook well now! Haha..
That's all. Happy Christmas everyone!!! Will write again soon.
Love lots n lots
Honey in the chilly MM
p.s. It's so cold that if you don't wear a jacket at night, you'll freeze. :P
Wednesday, December 10, 2008
My VP intro in the 1st IC News of UPICA
Salam Sejahtera, Da Jia Hao and greetings to all my family members of the International Center. First, let me introduce myself. I am Victoria Jennifer Ang Ling Tze of Sarawak (Borneo), Malaysia. But, for short, just call me Vicky. It is my pleasure to be given a chance to be part of this I.C. family. For months and months I dreamed of that, and the day I was finally accepted into I.C. was one of the happiest days experienced.
I was once just a whacked photographer who wanted to walk the world taking pictures of flowers with Nikon. Yet somehow, with the realization of life, I am now a Social Work student trying to make sense of the realities I've discovered. @@
I enjoy dreaming about the impossible, and live life trying to achieve those dreams. With hope burning in my heart, I truly believe that FREEDOM, JUSTICE, PEACE and LOVE can and will prevail. I hope my presence and contribution in this world will somehow make it a better place. ^^*
I take pleasure in traveling and was blessed to be able to have done some backpacking trips around South East Asia. I love talking, meeting new people and making friends. I also love cooking and baking for people I care for.
I like taking long walks around campus, playing badminton and am passionate about issues related to our environment, child welfare and education (both formal and informal) and other social issues as well.
I feel that 'Life is like a piece of art, it's up to you to see its beauty.' Therefore, I'm trying to make the best out of this dance we call life.. ^^~~ Let's tango!!!
I was once just a whacked photographer who wanted to walk the world taking pictures of flowers with Nikon. Yet somehow, with the realization of life, I am now a Social Work student trying to make sense of the realities I've discovered. @@
I enjoy dreaming about the impossible, and live life trying to achieve those dreams. With hope burning in my heart, I truly believe that FREEDOM, JUSTICE, PEACE and LOVE can and will prevail. I hope my presence and contribution in this world will somehow make it a better place. ^^*
I take pleasure in traveling and was blessed to be able to have done some backpacking trips around South East Asia. I love talking, meeting new people and making friends. I also love cooking and baking for people I care for.
I like taking long walks around campus, playing badminton and am passionate about issues related to our environment, child welfare and education (both formal and informal) and other social issues as well.
I feel that 'Life is like a piece of art, it's up to you to see its beauty.' Therefore, I'm trying to make the best out of this dance we call life.. ^^~~ Let's tango!!!
Another letter to my family - Nov 28, 08
Dearest All,
Heyo! Greetings again.
Here's just a bit of short info for you guys. I was appointed as the Vice President of UPICA Council, which is the University of the Philippines International Center Association's council. I rejected actually, but was somehow tricked to be in la.
Oh well, I wonder if I'm the one looking for trouble or whether trouble always has a way to find me. Thus, again, after soooooooooooooooo many times of trying to run away from these stuff, I'm still involved with these committee stuff la. Anyway, my induction is next Thursday during our IC's Korean night. :)
Also, I've started cooking lately. I've cooked somethng for my friends, as when I was poor, and without home cooked food, they fed me ;) so now I feel healthier la. Eating home cooked food. :)plsssssssssss if you guys are free to find time to write snail mails to me, it would be nice to receive something for Christmas la. :) Some kind of postcard would do? hehe.. My address is F40, International Center, University of the Philippines Diliman, Quezon City, Metro Manila, the Philippines :)
Miss you all! Take care.....
Heyo! Greetings again.
Here's just a bit of short info for you guys. I was appointed as the Vice President of UPICA Council, which is the University of the Philippines International Center Association's council. I rejected actually, but was somehow tricked to be in la.
Oh well, I wonder if I'm the one looking for trouble or whether trouble always has a way to find me. Thus, again, after soooooooooooooooo many times of trying to run away from these stuff, I'm still involved with these committee stuff la. Anyway, my induction is next Thursday during our IC's Korean night. :)
Also, I've started cooking lately. I've cooked somethng for my friends, as when I was poor, and without home cooked food, they fed me ;) so now I feel healthier la. Eating home cooked food. :)plsssssssssss if you guys are free to find time to write snail mails to me, it would be nice to receive something for Christmas la. :) Some kind of postcard would do? hehe.. My address is F40, International Center, University of the Philippines Diliman, Quezon City, Metro Manila, the Philippines :)
Miss you all! Take care.....
Updates from Nov 6, 08
When I finally got my grades back, my average was a 1.70. I made it to the list of College Scholars. :) It's like an awards list. :) The best would of course be the University Scholars (below 1.5) but I'm sure I would need to be a super nerd to attain that, I don't think I could do it with all the bumming, heh.
I'm happy. I got 1.75 for 5 subjects and PE and 1.5 for the last subject I was awaiting for the grades.
Life, is good.
I'm happy. I got 1.75 for 5 subjects and PE and 1.5 for the last subject I was awaiting for the grades.
Life, is good.
Letter to my family - Nov 4, 08
Dearest loved ones back at home!!!
Greetings! I bring news of joy! Well, at least for me.. :) I've been accepted (finally, after 6 months!!!) into the International Center, the dorm for international students. :) Less cost, almost all my friends are here.. it's much safer, cleaner, more convenient... ah, the list can go on. I've dreamt of this day for so long. And now it's finally here!!!
On top of that, despite all the hassle, my alien card will finally be ready soon. Actually it is ready now, but I haven't gotten it. :) I won't be illegal anymore!! Hah! And.. I will be starting my semester 2 this Friday. :) I've got some subjects preenlisted, but am waiting for confirmation and few more subjects to be enlisted. :) Also, I got back grades for 5 subjects and my 1 PE. :) I got 1.75 for all my subjects. 1.75 is an A (85-88%). Yay!!! Only 1 more subject to go for grading, still waiting for that. Hope it will turn out well too. Been attending human rights forum and rallies and mixing around with really great people working for human rights. :) Met many new friends the past week. So life's good. And I'm happy. :)
There you, my updates! Mail me back! Hope all's good for all of you back home or around.
I love you all much.
ME!!! :)
Greetings! I bring news of joy! Well, at least for me.. :) I've been accepted (finally, after 6 months!!!) into the International Center, the dorm for international students. :) Less cost, almost all my friends are here.. it's much safer, cleaner, more convenient... ah, the list can go on. I've dreamt of this day for so long. And now it's finally here!!!
On top of that, despite all the hassle, my alien card will finally be ready soon. Actually it is ready now, but I haven't gotten it. :) I won't be illegal anymore!! Hah! And.. I will be starting my semester 2 this Friday. :) I've got some subjects preenlisted, but am waiting for confirmation and few more subjects to be enlisted. :) Also, I got back grades for 5 subjects and my 1 PE. :) I got 1.75 for all my subjects. 1.75 is an A (85-88%). Yay!!! Only 1 more subject to go for grading, still waiting for that. Hope it will turn out well too. Been attending human rights forum and rallies and mixing around with really great people working for human rights. :) Met many new friends the past week. So life's good. And I'm happy. :)
There you, my updates! Mail me back! Hope all's good for all of you back home or around.
I love you all much.
ME!!! :)
Letter to my sisters and Livia - Oct 24, 08
My goodness. Livia's pregnant. Our little baby uwakwakwak is now having her own baby. How time flies.
And speaking about time flying.. I have OFFICIALLY finished my 1st sem. Classes ended 2 weeks ago and my major exams were done.. but this week, I submitted a 30 page term paper on some prostitution thing, I wrote my autobiography and used psychological personality theories to analyze my life story andddddd I took a PE written exam.
So it's OVER. My sem 1 is OVER but my back hurts like shit man.
As u all might know, I've hurt my back often before - falling, spraining whatever. This sem it was pretty strong, what with push ups and sit ups and losing weight. haha. Unfortunately, I hurt it last week and I can't carry anything heavy now. It was sooooo painful even pain killers don't work la. So I just have to suck in the pain and let's see how it goes. Rest more too, carry less heavy stuff.. and erm.. dont do crazy exercises. :) I went for a massage so it feels slightly better. But having period now, so it sucks quite bad too.
I miss all of you. I'm fine here and I'm alive, if u know what I mean. I've been dead for so long that being alive (though life is super tough) feels good. Though with back ache, I managed to finish allllllllllll my subjects and work! :) I'm glad I have found really good friends here too.:)
Okay that's all. Miss you all.
Byes!
And speaking about time flying.. I have OFFICIALLY finished my 1st sem. Classes ended 2 weeks ago and my major exams were done.. but this week, I submitted a 30 page term paper on some prostitution thing, I wrote my autobiography and used psychological personality theories to analyze my life story andddddd I took a PE written exam.
So it's OVER. My sem 1 is OVER but my back hurts like shit man.
As u all might know, I've hurt my back often before - falling, spraining whatever. This sem it was pretty strong, what with push ups and sit ups and losing weight. haha. Unfortunately, I hurt it last week and I can't carry anything heavy now. It was sooooo painful even pain killers don't work la. So I just have to suck in the pain and let's see how it goes. Rest more too, carry less heavy stuff.. and erm.. dont do crazy exercises. :) I went for a massage so it feels slightly better. But having period now, so it sucks quite bad too.
I miss all of you. I'm fine here and I'm alive, if u know what I mean. I've been dead for so long that being alive (though life is super tough) feels good. Though with back ache, I managed to finish allllllllllll my subjects and work! :) I'm glad I have found really good friends here too.:)
Okay that's all. Miss you all.
Byes!
Letter to my family - Oct 11, 08
Written at the end of Semester 1...
Believe it or not, I have finished 1 semester day of my 8 semesters course. How time flies. It's just like yesterday when I enrolled here. Things are going good. I can read faster now compared to before, I have more patience, I'm healthier, I lost 7 kgs in the past 2 months, I made new friends from all over the world, I learned to speak basic Tagalog, I'm smoking less (haha.. :P I promise I'll quit after this course. ), I got to understand my religion in a better way, realized many things in the world, learned much about politics n economics n social issues, read 8 of the world's best literature books, can write more creatively now :P, learned another perspective of the geography subject - much much more. I've also learned to be tougher, not to cry too much (I only cry when I get emails from you guys.. :P), I'm no longer depressed, I've finally finally accepted and got over daddy's passing, n I think I can walk so much more now than ever before. On a happier note too, I feel very young. haha. I also realized that for my case ah, as this is the 2nd course I'm taking though 1st degree, there's still so much in life for me to learn. You all know how I hated science subjects. Next semester, I pre enlisted for subjects like Natural Science (Basic Physics and Chemistry) and Biology. I just feel that it's time to learn this things before I grow too old to remember anything. I realized that I was really stubborn n a bit too strong headed in the past. Things that I didn't like, I will never even give it a shot. But now, I feel that if I want to be a good social worker who can work with everyone in the world despite all the differences and walks of life, I need to at least know how to talk to all these people, from the richest to the poorest, the smartest to the ahem.. not so smart. And without all the basic knowledge, I won't be able to do so. I will be like an empty vessel. And I don't want to be an empty vessel la. It's a good thing that this course has general education subjects. Last semester, I took 3 GE subjects: Geography, English World Literature and Creative Writing. As I will be given an opportunity to take 5 GE subjects from Arts and Humanitarian, Social Science and Philosophy and Maths Science and Technology... I guess I'll most prob cover almost all basic fields of occupations available. I don't see it as jack of all trades, master of none. Well, I'll be master of social work.. but knowing more wont hurt me. :) So there. I think I did quite alright for this semester. I have 3 subjects that are completed. I have to submit papers for 3 more, and take my PE exam. But other than that, it's all done. Other than my PE, I'm sure if I submit all the papers, I just need an average grade to do quite alright for all my subjects. I've tried, I've not been totally crazy and studying like mad or not at all, so I've been averagely alright. I'm sure my grades will b okay :) The learning experience was wonderful. There. That's all for now. Just wanted to share a bit of my life with you guys. Miss u all much.
p.s. I also realized I had muscles in the body in parts that I never knew existed. haha. I had advanced stretching with bands and balls for my PE class, and so I did a lot of circuit training. :)
Believe it or not, I have finished 1 semester day of my 8 semesters course. How time flies. It's just like yesterday when I enrolled here. Things are going good. I can read faster now compared to before, I have more patience, I'm healthier, I lost 7 kgs in the past 2 months, I made new friends from all over the world, I learned to speak basic Tagalog, I'm smoking less (haha.. :P I promise I'll quit after this course. ), I got to understand my religion in a better way, realized many things in the world, learned much about politics n economics n social issues, read 8 of the world's best literature books, can write more creatively now :P, learned another perspective of the geography subject - much much more. I've also learned to be tougher, not to cry too much (I only cry when I get emails from you guys.. :P), I'm no longer depressed, I've finally finally accepted and got over daddy's passing, n I think I can walk so much more now than ever before. On a happier note too, I feel very young. haha. I also realized that for my case ah, as this is the 2nd course I'm taking though 1st degree, there's still so much in life for me to learn. You all know how I hated science subjects. Next semester, I pre enlisted for subjects like Natural Science (Basic Physics and Chemistry) and Biology. I just feel that it's time to learn this things before I grow too old to remember anything. I realized that I was really stubborn n a bit too strong headed in the past. Things that I didn't like, I will never even give it a shot. But now, I feel that if I want to be a good social worker who can work with everyone in the world despite all the differences and walks of life, I need to at least know how to talk to all these people, from the richest to the poorest, the smartest to the ahem.. not so smart. And without all the basic knowledge, I won't be able to do so. I will be like an empty vessel. And I don't want to be an empty vessel la. It's a good thing that this course has general education subjects. Last semester, I took 3 GE subjects: Geography, English World Literature and Creative Writing. As I will be given an opportunity to take 5 GE subjects from Arts and Humanitarian, Social Science and Philosophy and Maths Science and Technology... I guess I'll most prob cover almost all basic fields of occupations available. I don't see it as jack of all trades, master of none. Well, I'll be master of social work.. but knowing more wont hurt me. :) So there. I think I did quite alright for this semester. I have 3 subjects that are completed. I have to submit papers for 3 more, and take my PE exam. But other than that, it's all done. Other than my PE, I'm sure if I submit all the papers, I just need an average grade to do quite alright for all my subjects. I've tried, I've not been totally crazy and studying like mad or not at all, so I've been averagely alright. I'm sure my grades will b okay :) The learning experience was wonderful. There. That's all for now. Just wanted to share a bit of my life with you guys. Miss u all much.
p.s. I also realized I had muscles in the body in parts that I never knew existed. haha. I had advanced stretching with bands and balls for my PE class, and so I did a lot of circuit training. :)
Tuesday, December 09, 2008
3 months later....
Am I okay? Am I really? I'm not okay, I'm not, I'm not. I'm jealous, I'm sad.. I feel left out, I want to go home. But I can't and I shouldn't and I should always bear with the consequences of my actions and decisions!!! So stop crying, bitch.
On the other hand...
Am I falling too? Am I? But he's such a good buddy. Such a wonderful person to have around. But imagine this.. a guy whom you sort of live with, does your laundry with you (as in he carries it and walks me there and collects them with or for me too), does grocery shopping and household items shopping, eats dinners and lunches and snacks and buys you food, and buys you cream to apply on your wound, watches his first ever movie with you in a foreign city he has been there for 3 months but not watched any movies, goes drinking with you, jumps on your every wimp, apologizes over and over again when he unintentionally ditches you, listens to you blab about every single bad thing in your life, lets you cry in front of him and tells you that everything will be alright coz he's there.. and the whole freaking list goes on and on and on. But I don't think I will like him.. there are elements in his life I just can't accept or tolerate. He's so bloody patriarchal.
To think, after such a long time of not blogging, this blog would actually be about him.
He means so, so much to me. Without him by my side, I feel so lost. And he feels the same too. I don't think we're in love, I think we're .. I don't know unintentionally committed and growing off each other? Gee man. I've not felt any of these feelings with anyone else? This is so weird-ly different. Is it because he's from a different culture, different upbringing? The things he tells me, they make me want to cry so bad.. Not of sadness, but of pure joy. I'm so happy with him. Just as friends. I don't want to ruin it. But I fear so, so much that I will. Sigh..
People kept on teasing us, for months they've been doing so. And I've always been so defensive. Ah, gee. I'm so dumb. I should just let things be.
But, will talking bout this make me more confused?
I miss writing, I'll do so again soon.
On the other hand...
Am I falling too? Am I? But he's such a good buddy. Such a wonderful person to have around. But imagine this.. a guy whom you sort of live with, does your laundry with you (as in he carries it and walks me there and collects them with or for me too), does grocery shopping and household items shopping, eats dinners and lunches and snacks and buys you food, and buys you cream to apply on your wound, watches his first ever movie with you in a foreign city he has been there for 3 months but not watched any movies, goes drinking with you, jumps on your every wimp, apologizes over and over again when he unintentionally ditches you, listens to you blab about every single bad thing in your life, lets you cry in front of him and tells you that everything will be alright coz he's there.. and the whole freaking list goes on and on and on. But I don't think I will like him.. there are elements in his life I just can't accept or tolerate. He's so bloody patriarchal.
To think, after such a long time of not blogging, this blog would actually be about him.
He means so, so much to me. Without him by my side, I feel so lost. And he feels the same too. I don't think we're in love, I think we're .. I don't know unintentionally committed and growing off each other? Gee man. I've not felt any of these feelings with anyone else? This is so weird-ly different. Is it because he's from a different culture, different upbringing? The things he tells me, they make me want to cry so bad.. Not of sadness, but of pure joy. I'm so happy with him. Just as friends. I don't want to ruin it. But I fear so, so much that I will. Sigh..
People kept on teasing us, for months they've been doing so. And I've always been so defensive. Ah, gee. I'm so dumb. I should just let things be.
But, will talking bout this make me more confused?
I miss writing, I'll do so again soon.
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