Coming to Seoul made me realise a few things.

*It gets a bit lonely when the weather is cold.
*Snow is best seen and experienced with your loved ones.
*No matter where you are won't determine how easy it is for you to let go.
*Running away from handling emotions will still stain your eyes with unshed tears when you finally embrace the situation.
*My heart can never be divided. It somehow just added on some extensions.
* Forcing yourself to forget is cruel.

(As of end February 2008)

Here's for you, Boo.. my sunshine.

Thank you for walking me through this journey of more than 6 years.
Thank you for being my sunshine through the darkest days.
Thank you for your everlasting tender, loving, care.
Thank you for always thinking what's best for me.
Thank you for making me smile when all I could do was to cry.
Thank you for being my listener, when nobody wanted to listen.
Thank you for being the shoulder for me to cry on.
Thank you for teaching me how to truly love.
Thank you for all you've meant to me, all you mean to me.
Thank you for being you.

I will always love you, Boo. But I have to let you go now. I'm sorry.

I'm here now so there's no reason to look back, right? I'm missing home already. Am missing everyone so much. It's normal to fear the future when you live life 'go nomad', right?

Oh I need some air.

Sobbing from within.

I have lived with you as a huge part of my life for more than 6 years already. Every single step I took, every breath I breathed.. Every moment of those years, you played such a significant role. Through the days that I've done wrong, I'm sorry for all the hurt that I brought to you.

I love you. I still do. I love you so much it hurts that goodbye has arrived at our doorstep. If I do not let you go now, I will harm you more than you know. I will cause more pain, pain you do not deserve. I need you to understand that no matter how much I feel for you, no matter how it cuts my heart and my soul, I still need to let you go.

My heart aches in sour anguish yet tears refuse to flow. I fear the future. I really do. But what must be done, must be done.

Goodbye, my love. And thank you for being the most important person in my life.

There are days when I wish you were still around. Daddy, I still miss you so.

What do we need to do to find our lifetime's happiness? Is it wrong to be selfish just this once in pursuit of happiness? Or is love really selfless, really kind, really patient and really what the Bible says. I'm so confused.

I want to cry because our days are coming to and end but I'm still not ready to let go. I have to and I will but I just want to cry a bit more.

I want to cry because though our days are just starting, they seem to be ending really soon. It's alright if there are tomorrows though, but certainty is a word so foreign.

I want to cry because I don't know whether I'm strong enough to go on, determine enough to fight another battle for 4 years.

I want to cry because I don't know who to talk to anymore. Friends are here there and everywhere. I really don't want to invade.

I want to cry because I'm still crying after such a long time. I'm so tired already...

There are days when all you want to do is to cry. I guess the depressing side of me is resurfacing. Listening to certain songs make me miss dad.. Looking at old photos just trigger the depressing mode too. But I'll be okay, soon enough.

Lord, give me
the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things that I can, and
the wisdom to know the difference.

A mental note to make - Laos is GORGEOUS. Cheap, beautiful and wonderful. What took me so long to visit Laos.. I wonder. :P The answer's simple la, Airasia wasn't flying to Laos before this. :)

Heartfelt gratitude to Aunty Kathy who made this trip possible. Without her as my financier, this trip would have been impossible for now.

Vientiane is a laid back city, bustling in its own pace. Walk along the streets to savour the wonders of the capital.

Vang Vieng, a tourist's cow boy town. The wonderful hills and local activity paints this town so beautifully your day shines a bit brighter and smiling to everyone seems normal.

Luang Prabang. One of the UNESCO World Heritage sites. Preserved for its scenic nature and French colonial buildings, this town bustles with tourists especially during year end. Walking down small alley lanes, eating rice noodles and visiting ancient temples are usual visit routines of foreigners. A ride out of the town area brings one to gorgeous caves and waterfalls. What a wonderful place to chill and relax.

I love Laos. I will be back. I will bring more friends and next time round, I will swim in Nam Ngum Lake and Kuang Si Waterfall!!! I will even rent a car to take more pics.

This place is definitely in my list of places to spray my ashes after I cuckoo. :)

My life, my learning journey. Roller coaster, or not.. there's no way of stopping my tomorrows. Buckle up, babe.

Despite elated past incidents, the fear of tomorrow remains. I still feel like crying. Oh, why?

Boo.

Let tears not stain our eyes when distance separates us. You're fondly and lovingly in my heart and on my mind. Your presence in my life has strengthened me through the worst days and for that, you will always remain as the most important person for me. Always. Doubt not what you mean to me. Fear not what our future holds. Destiny is but a foreign word. Blue skies and sunshine will rule our later days.

Missing you from home.

My heart's beating a bit too fast. The fact that I know what's happening to it fears me more than I should. I need to learn how to live for the moment and savour the sweet bits of today. Tomorrow might turn out different from planned anyway.

I need to keep away from insanity.