Removing memories

At the spur of a moment, I went into his room and took away the sole reason to occasionally pop in to see him. I took my plant home. Chances of working in the college seem dim. Why bother leaving hope behind? It’s actually time to move on. He wore a jacket today, making him look so vulnerable. He might not care for me in return but I guess it’s alright to care about him. He doesn’t have to know. I’m not asking for anything in return, just an occasional smile perhaps. I’m feeling empty. Like the roots of the plant I’m bringing home, the feelings have grown. I am now removing the only thing that belongs to me that was left with him since the good days. I am removing good memories, burying them the way I should. This mere gesture means more to me than it would to anyone who might be around. I played my role, I acted as though it was the thing to do. It was of course the thing to do just not the thing I wanted to do. There are other things to remove. I’m taking my time. Thursdays are no longer supposed to be anticipated. It is after all just a class, another class. I have to keep that in mind.

The truth is that the only thing I want to do now is to go home and sleep, and stop thinking about all these nonsense. The worse thing about the whole scenario is that I think he knows. Everyone was talking about the issue in a joking way while his room’s door was left open. I’m sure he’s not deaf and I’m pretty sure that even if he did not know my intentions, he sure does now.