Bits of The Past, Dust of The Present

I got a message from him from Friendster today. Ironic what he said. He seems to be struggling really hard in life. I won't blame him. Having two juniors to raise isn't an easy solution. I am so glad I'm just not the mother of his two juniors or anyone's junior, for that matter. Life wouldn't be what I have now and I'm thankful for that.

Though life seems uncertain and the soul mate dream has ceased to exist in some ways, I am glad for all the stress, sleepless nights, tears, bitterness and anger (and sometimes loneliness) I feel and experience on an almost everyday basis. I am glad that at this 'tender' age of 23, I need not be responsible for any juniors for the time being. A mother I may not be, but a true youth, I am.

Looking back, I am awed by my naiveness and stupidity to plunge into something so unworth my investment of time, money and effort. Short the period may seem, the scar that remained for the days, months and perhaps years after that is definitely something to leave behind in the past.
What hurt most wasn't what seemed apparent, what hurt most was a friendship gone sour.

If I were more humane, I know I would feel pity for him as I read the message today. I don't think I still possess emotions for situations I cannot relate to nowadays. What I feel is this awkward numbness replacing what used to be care and concern.

He definitely formed bits of my past. Big bits, I would say. Alas, what he has to offer now, and what he means now would only be dust to me. A bothersome annoyance.