Heartbroken over a best friend...

Harry left for Hong Kong early this morning. He flew from Manila and I'm still in KL. Our farewell meeting was last Friday and I spoke to him on the phone early this morning around 1.

This feeling sucks. It's a really horrible jolt, as though someone's ripping out my heart. I don't know why I'm so impacted by the whole thing.. our friendship hasn't even been for a month. But I know, and he knows, that time isn't the factor of the depth of friendship that we share.

We have given each other enough advice to last us till our next meet, perhaps but the thought of going back to Manila and him not being there is just unbearable.

I thought it couldn't happen this way, but now I know I'm wrong. At the age where I have spent more than a quarter of a century in this world, I am still able to find a best friend who feels that I'm just as important, and whom I will always treasure in my heart. Best friends are harder to find as you grow older, aye.

Harry said that as long as things are OK in KL, it's OK. But in Manila, everything will be good from now on.

I need to trust him. Who else to trust if not your best friend?

And when Harry says that nothing is impossible, then nothing is. And when he says that everything will be okay, they will be! And when he says that I have to believe that.. I sure am going to believe that, and him.

It's just temporary, this goodbye. It won't be forever.. just for a long, long time.

A gentle reminder, forever on my shoulder. To you my beloved father, what else but a durian flower. :)

Moving out of Dik's place was in a way liberating as I now have my own room. However, there are times like now that I feel particularly low. Harry's busy today and so there's no one to eat dinner with. I don't want to bring food home and eat, coz the washing would be a bit of a hassle for me, for now. And eating alone outside just doesn't seem fun at all. There at times when I wish that I had friends to hang out with. Maybe later, just not now? Which brings me back to the topic of Harry leaving, again. I don't know when Harry became so important, but he just did. I know that our friendship would soon face much difference with the existence of distance, but Harry's confident that the value of friendship is determined not by the amount of time spent, but by the depth of it.

I shouldn't hold on so tightly to a certain person, I know. It's just that Harry has been there through much change in my life lately. And having him around has been lots of fun. There's always so much to talk about, to laugh about. He's not just another friend.. he's a new best friend.

Anyway, I have met a number of new friends. And they're from different countries. More Koreans, some Japanese exchange students, an American Pinoy, another Bruneian.. and of course, many Pinoys and Pinays! I am sure that given the chance, we could be great friends too. But for now, I think I'll just spend the last few days with Harry while juggling my studies before going back to KL for a week plus to deal with my student visa. And after that maybe I'll give the new friends making more effort. Or perhaps I'd be so desperate to have people eating dinner with me that I'll be making more friends soon. :) Who knows what it is.. I am known to be a social butterfly, Ms Congeniality.. maybe things will be okay. But for this exact moment, I still need to look for a dinner date.

Lunches are okay eaten alone.. However I feel that dinners are like a social thing!!! Sigh...

Oh yeah, some of the jeepneys were giving free rides today. Some kind of sponsorship from Accenture. Tuesdays are the days when rides are free for some jeeps till the end of December. How cool is that? Oh well, but the free ones are usually full. :P

I found a room and I'm happy with it. Just the room. Not too much the environment or anything else.. just the room and the price I'm paying for it. It's 2500 pesos a month.. that's less than RM 200. I am, currently staying on expensive grounds.. Quezon city (where UP Diliman is located) is the most crowded city in the Philippines.

I do not enjoy certain smells and sights but I'm sure I'll do alright. 4 years. I'll be here for 4 years. Well at least I have a room to go back to, now.

Also, been getting things for the room and found out that cost of living here, is just, HELL. Sigh. Expensive plastic items, household items, detergents and everything!

Sigh. I'll have to say my goodbyes to Harry on Friday night. Somehow, the idea of it just wrenches my poor heart. It's just harder to bid him farewell than to break up with Timothy. And that whole idea's a bit maddening too. One was my boyfriend and another my new best friend. Perhaps the thought of never ever seeing Harry again is just too horrifying.

Class starts soon. Gotta run. Will write again soon enough, I hope. Shit the Iliard, I'm still behind reading.

Harry is back.

Harry came back from Vietnam on Monday morning and we met up in the afternoon as it was a holiday. Yay! He made it. He traveled to 4 cities in 4 countries and came back in one piece! :) Congrats Sang Hyeok. I was really worried you would be kidnapped somewhere in SouthEast Asia. but then again, you survived Metro Manila for almost 6 months, and THAT is an achievement. Ah... 'dirf', it is.

I finally visited Mall of Asia. Somehow it didn't impress me the way I thought it would. But it was alright. That evening, Harry cooked me Korean noodles. I guess he should be cooking it the real Korean way. So it was a bit more delicious than the usual Korean instant noodles I am used to tasting. :)

We met up again on Tuesday and Wednesday and Thursday. On Tuesday, Harry cooked his personal style of fried rice. I guess it was in a way, Korean style.. as he IS Korean, but then again the food I cook never seems to fit any categories of food in Malaysia. I guess what we're cooking is called the fusion personalised style of cooking.

It's really wonderful to hangout with him. He jokes about the craziest things, yet rationalise things the way a proper adult is supposed to. And the best thing of all is the feeling of having found your long lost best friend.

Harry has been joking about the prospects of me ending up with a Korean guy. He says that as I love KL so much.. K stands for Korean and L for Lover. Gawd, talk about corniness. I saw a guy wearing a 'I love HK' shirt and all I can think of is H for Hot and K for Korean. I'm influenced!

I hate to admit but there are times when I feel that the way my new best friend treats me seem to be so much better than how the last boyfriend treated me la. The effort he puts in for us to meet, the quality time we share by just talking about everything.. I am so blessed with great friends and Harry just adds on to the miraculous collection I have. Everywhere I go, I meet the best people (and occasionally the worst too). But it is those best people that I have helped me through, held my hand, wiped my tears, lent me a shoulder to cry on, a listening ear to just hear me out, great advice and show me what true friendship means.

I am lucky in the aspect of friends and there are times when I feel that with such great friends, it is not really important for me to find another half. Perhaps I shouldn't be thinking like that, but at times, I just can't help it. I know that my friends will (and some have, actually..) one day move on as our paths drift apart, yet I believe the true friendship just doesn't die there.

As Sun and Daxing puts it (it's some Chinese idiom le), 'In this world, there is no gathering that doesn't end'. All good things come to an end, I know. Wonderful friends will have to leave you, memories stored.. footsteps separate.

I am so not looking forward to the day when I have to bid my new bestfriend goodbye. I really don't want to, but soon I'll have to.

Dilemma.

Is this a test I have to undergo? Is there no way out? Am I supposed to live with this?

I really am not sure how I'm suppose to take up this task, Lord. I am no sissy and I can be tough when I am. But is this really necessary for this mission?

Am I picky? Am I too choosy? If I can't even go through with this, how am I supposed to be a good social worker?

Sigh.. I am feeling so tired and not finding my own place is actually interrupting with my concentration for reading. I still need to read 23 more chapters of Iliard.

Oh please Lord, find me a proper room? One where I can laugh, cry and most importantly STUDY in?

I am tired out. I have to read so much it's as though it's payback time for not being with books for the past 8 years, or maybe erm.. less than that. Since the MSC and photography days, I've stashed my books away and started clicking away with my camera. Now I'm just so extremely tired with the idea of reading but then it could be fun.

I thought 'The Iliard' was going to kill me. I tried 2 pages and almost gave up. English literature. The only reasons why I took this subject was because I needed to fill up 1 more GE subject this semester, and that I felt that I could do well. It's English, c'mon. But it's not JUST English. It's the English subject everyone avoids. I think all the students in my class are just there because they need to fill up their GE requirements. Hah. But it's not so bad. I just need a cool and proper environment and I can be reading again. If I'm not distracted, I bet I can read for hours. I used to, and I'm sure I will again soon.

But English Lit isn't the only class with reading. Readings are required for all other classes. Even Geography and Creative Writing.

So my nose is in my books. But I want to spend more time with my new best friend before we part ways!!! Gee man. It's back to juggling social life with my studies. How interesting.

Well.. I'm a student again! A freshie, to be exact! And that means.. studies first, socialising next. Love life? Let's postpone that. As how Harry puts it when people try to intro girls to him (his relationship is a secret, it's complicated la, the whole story.. ) I'll just quote him 'I'm so busy.. I don't have time for a relationship. Besides, I'm not lonely' :) But occasionally I am. And when Harry goes back to Incheon and when I move out of Dik's.. loneliness will strike me. But I guess I just need to talk to the person next to me - my new roommate, whoever she is!

I am now a UP freshie! :) Classes have started. I'm so, so happy. I am finally living the start
of my dreams!

Class Registration - My Baptism of UP life

I'm 10 years too late, but I'm doing it anyway. I'm registering for subjects and running all around the university. Though tired to the bones I am, I'm not giving up. Late registration caused most of the subjects I wanted to enlist for to be out of slots or closed, but I still managed to sign up for creative writing and geography. English literature wasn't desired, but I took it for the sake of filling up credits for this semester as most of the maths, science and technology subjects are full.

Gawd. Imagine studying biology or geology for the first time? Kinda weird, it seems.. but that's what I'll be doing next semester and the following, believe it or not. :)

I've not walked so much for such a long time. Only during my travels do I walk so much. Even my hips are aching!

Orientation and classes start next Tuesday. Need to pay fees and continue on other things that I've not done then. Sigh.. still applying for dorm. I hope I get a space la!

Can't wait for my new life to start. It's getting close now! Oh well, actually it started already.

I know that I will be alright very soon after this. I just wonder how long that would be. But in the meantime.. I'm going to have lots of fun. Am already doing that, actually.

Just not used to the change of pace in life, and perhaps the lack of attention in love aspect.