I'm accepting defeat. I'm going back with my head bowed low, never more ashamed before. My dreams I'm surrendering to reality, harsh it is. I'm tired, I can't fight the challenge anymore. And what scares me more is that I don't even care. It's almost been a year since I've been in constant pain. Every electrifying, shocking pain just rips another piece of enthusiasm away from me. I've lost my charisma. I'm becoming someone even the dogs don't like. I may sound witty but my soul is bitter. My pain has eaten into my soul and there is nothing I can do anymore, but to accept defeat, and to go home...

I've never felt more pain, more discomfort and more challenges than being right here right now, and I still don't understand why despite all that, I refuse to go home to a safer haven. Perhaps I really am insane.