Frustrations - A few drops of tears - Hopes and Dreams

My life has been a bit frustrating lately. But amidst that, I still find comfort and joy in the fact that what I'll be doing for the next 4 years will be finally answering to a call that I've avoided long enough.

I didn't make it for the talent determination test. My ego was horribly bruised. May 5. The day I realised that I wasn't so artistic after all. I mean, I never really questioned my creativity. But somehow, I do know that being artistic.. I would somehow need to draw as well. I can't just let my art sense be based on my aesthetic values eye level, right? Oh well.

I wanted to cry and I believe I did drop a few tears. But that was all there was. Just a few drops. If I was totally depressed and if tomorrow was not within sight, I would have been bawling and rolling in the streets, right? But it wasn't all that painful. It was just like a pinch from.. not even from a crab, perhaps like one from mom back when I was younger and falling asleep in church.

I had to console myself for there wasn't anyone around whose words I wanted to listen to, anyway. Except for Joel. Perhaps Joel. He was so sweet.. taking all those rides just to buy me a drink at Starbucks. I knew I had a crush on him for a reason and the reason was today? :)

I was too caught up with the ego bruising, so much so that I let my future plans slip my mind.. the little dreams of working all over the world for a better tomorrow for the people around me. Well, it's never too selfless to start now instead of 8 years later. Besides, it would be a degree as well, right.

So here goes. To the Bachelors of Science in Social Works at the College of Social Works and Community Development.

I don't want to ever forget what I hoped for, what I dreamt about.. and the reason why I'm here. I hope I won't let my ego get in the way again.. but then again, being as egoistic as I am.. it's hard to let the ego thing slip.

The days might be a bit monotonous now but the adventures are starting really soon. New roommate, new course, new environment.. new a lot of things. :) It will be alright. I just need to be a little bit more patient. And.. I just need to remember about 'the ship'.

Things will be alright.