I've kept all these 'most suicidal' writings in my laptop long enough. It's been too long, I've kept my wounds too long and it's time to let go. To let go is to embrace the past, to accept and to move on.

I was afraid that people around me would hurt to know how much I hurt so I tried to be okay.

I've had enough.

I am as depressed as that. Accept me if you love me. I am weak. I can't go on and I do want to die all the time but I am trying to be alright.

I can't accept deaths and I won't be strong. I just want life to be alright but it will never be and my life will never be alright but I will be so numbed with acceptance I will be fine.

I smile because I'm tired of crying. I might be smiling but it doesn't mean I'm happy. Oh please stop thinking I'm the cheerio type. I am not.

I am a depressed, suicidal, lunatic person who lives in the past so much I hate the present and I abandon the love and care of people around me.

All I want, is to be free... Really, really free. But I will never be. Not totally...

I just want to take pictures of flowers, I just want to walk around the world. I just want to love my family members and take care of them.

Too much to ask?