There are specific times in life that I get extremely depressed, a bit too suicidal for comfort and everything seems to go haywire. I somehow figured out how to counter those negative periods of my life. Play computer games.
Friends. Experiencing a situation where an irresponsible ‘friend’ borrows money from a super emo friend causing havoc for me. I’m stuck in between, pitying the hell out of depresso yet finding myself helpless and clueless. I do not know what I should do in such situation. So when depresso told me he was hungry (he apparently has no money left as irresponsible borrowed a lot of money (near 1 k!!!), I ran to my kitchen and fished out packs and packs of noodles, rice, mushroom, and funny can food, eggs and instant coffee to help him through the next few days. Another friend of mine saw the scenario and obviously pitied depresso, claiming I should do my best for I am to be blamed for his condition. Am penniless myself, surviving on credit from a heavenly part-time resource. If I do pass him some cash to spend, I would actually be helping him fall into darker pits. So how do I help cash-wise? Calling irresponsible is like banging at heaven’s doors with a devil’s heart. I’m starting to really feel and think all the sickness and foul stuff I could ever dare to conjure up about friends, about irresponsible. Depresso is hiding in his room, telling us he’ll never be one of us and more depressing stuff. He told me not to bother about him, that it is not my fault and that he will not blame me, telling me he has caused enough problems and that he will no longer do so. Nuts. In situations as such, all I could do was to converse with him in his locked room by yelling things in Taiwanese Mandarin, having him reply through sms. I cried. I felt so helpless and so confused and so everything I cried. Everyone’s growing up and going their own way or maintaining where they should be but I’m nowhere here nor there.
I’m afraid but no one can help me. The only person to help me is me. And I am not ready to help myself now. I feel so down, even more down than I felt the days and months before.. even more down than I've ever felt. Why now?
4 comments:
i'm also asking.. y now?
erm... don't tell me... emo guy is our family pet?!!? irresponsible is coc ex VP?!!??
oh no!!! ='O
erm..... ur NOT allowed to hurt urself cos of this issue k??? feeling down is normal la... me too ma... cheer up k? =')
p.s- from now on all my emoticons will hav a teardrop in it cos i'm oso emo-ing... will take it off when i feel ok again... ='P
Let's hurt the ex vp of coc then.
I mean if she is still maintaining her current lifestyle while he's starving on ONE pack of maggi a day, I'm going to take the CoC cert and stuff it up her fat ass.
Please vicky, stop bailing her out of situations she only knows how to get herself into and then abandon all those who extend help to her to the shit.
Well, I actually told her to starting being more responsible. That coming from me, to her, is something, okay? Am not really into bailing her out anymore, no one's helping me here anyway.
Am not feeling so emo about it already. She paid (yes, the family pet) 'emo boy' 400 bucks yesterday.
Been too tired lately to think so much!! Do miss you Jiah Ling.
* hugs
woooh.. 400 bucks!
hope that fat bitch didn't sprain anything.
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