I think I need to leave KL as soon as possible. I need a new environment. New love doesn't just wash away all the sadness old memories that old love bring.

I have to learn how to pick myself up alone.
I have to learn how to be emotionally independent.
I have to learn how to stop crying and when to stop crying.
I have to learn how to accept the things I can't change and learn to adapt with new changes.
I have to learn how to bear with consequences.
I have to learn how to smile at the hiccups of life.
I have to learn how to overcome the pangs I feel when rejected.
I have to learn how to toughen up and keep on breathing.
I have to learn how to let you go.
I have to learn now that you are no longer by my side.

Writings in the plane from Bali - Mar 12, 08

Let's face our fears before they tear us apart. To overcome fear, one needs to at least confront and accept that these fears exist. So what am I afraid of? Changes? But I crave for differences, for non monotonous life! So why am I complaining now? What's making me feel that all the changes in the future will be for the worse? Is it due to the fact that I have just made a huge step out of a long term relationship? And getting myself attached with a totally different other person? One whom I'm not sure if I can get used to when it comes to trust, long distance
and being faithful?

Whatever it is. It's good to live life to the fullest. It's just once, anyway. Even if I have my heart broken, it'll just be once, by one person. If I let someone hurt me twice, then I'll be horribly dumb. But till then, I wouldn't know the outcome of the situation unless I try, right? So let's just plunge all crazily into the depths of life. Everything will be okay. It's okay to not have stability for a moment or two as long as it's not permanent, alright?

Things will be fine, Vicky. You just need to have faith in God and yourself. Things will be perfectly well then. Amen.

The little pleasures of life - Part II

The little pleasures of life - Part II

- going on long drives with Nic
- just starring at the blue sea at Padangbai, Bali
- hanging out by the river at Luang Prabang, Laos
- eating ice cream on a snowing day
- dining with the Thai bunch
- talking about future kids and future life with Pin
- recalling fond memories with old friends
- Santiago family's avocado dessert
- having a conversation with Jerome
- getting a good bargain for something unique!
- writing and pouring out my heart
- chatting with strangers while travelling

I love you, Tim - Bali Nyepi Day - Mar 7, 08

I've not felt as happy as I do now and I know it's all because of you. Your presence in my life, YOU being who you are.. totally fills up the missing puzzle space. Are you the missing puzzle? Are you the one to complete me?

Being with you, being your girl just totally fulfills all my dreams of being in love. I love the way you make me feel. I love the fact that I love life now, not just because I'm in love with you, but you've given me the air to breathe once more.

My brain tingles with joy to know that I have a prince charming who loves me to bits. My heart flutters and dances around in bliss as I recall all our wonderful moments together.

You make me feel like all the impossibilities in this world are nothing but my own fear. You make the impossibilities seem so possible.

The fact that I know you're there for me gives me courage to face another day, confidence to approach my worst fears yet sanity to encounter them with wisdom.

You're my angel. You're God's gift for me, the compass that I lost when I lost my father... Hearing your voice is like surfing in God's heavenly skies, soaring to the heavens.

Having you in my arms or having your arms around me comforts me. The world may fall apart but as long as you're there.. I fear not.

You're the bridge that I once unintentionally burnt. The bridge that leads me to my Heavenly King. You have brought me back to His side.

And I love you, Tim. I love you so much and still I feel that I can love you more and more.

This weird feeling that you are THE ONE may seem crazy and insane.. but totally fine, all at the same time.

And I thank God, never enough though.. for bringing you into my life once again. I've tried to run, I could have been hiding.. but you found me once more. And I love you so much for all your love, all your care and all that you mean to me.

Hello daddy,

Am just writing to tell you that I've found love. His name is Timothy and he's from Nigeria and he's the best thing in my life now. No worries, I won't let this get in the way of my educational plans.

There are just so many things to tell you, about him but I will do so as the time goes by. My gut feeling tells me that he is the one yet no one knows that they've found the one till they breathe their last breaths, right? Well, you found yours, and I hope Tim is mine.

I still miss you, daddy. But the pain is more bearable now. You're not replaced, you can never be but I have found the man that I love most now and I am really, really happy.

I tried to blog in Mandarin but somehow my software doesn't seem to be working well. Oh darn, just need to use another computer, I guess. But gee.. writing in English, I can type 80 to 90 words per minute. And writing in Mandarin? Haha.. with the speed I take to string my words and phrases together, I can only write a sentence in 5 minutes? Maybe I'm exaggerating.. maybe just 3 minutes. :P

Life has been awfully peaceful these few days. I guess the roller coaster ride starts again next Saturday when I finally get my ass over to Manila. I am excited, but there are now reasons for me not to leave. However, getting a degree is important for my future. I must be at par with Tim or else there will always be a mental gap.

My back is not hurting so much anymore. I'm so lazy to blog about Seoul and Bali. Too many friends mean repeating your stories too many times thus getting bored of them - the stories, already. Haih.

It's so good to be in love.