A note to my beloved papa.

Dearest Daddy,

It has been 365 days without you and not one day goes by without feeling the flinch of pain, the longing to see you again. I know that you're well, much better than before you left and all the suffering has finally ended. I also know that you don't mind it in heaven, it's all you've ever dreamt of and living in a rubbish free environment has finally come through for you.

Mommy has been doing great. She's keeping busy helping ertie and ah wah with their little business. I'm glad she has something to keep her mind occupied. She still misses you horribly but another part of her knows that you're with the Lord now, and that's what matters most. She occasionally still thinks of your departure as one similiar to the days when you were travelling. We do know though, that you'll never come back to us this time but we will meet one fine day, when the Lord brings us back too.

Ah che came back during Christmas. She also brought mom and Jerome to Singapore. I didn't get the chance to meet her, but I know she's doing well in Japan with ko.

Jerome scored straight As, dy. I know you would have been so proud of him. I still remember the time when I told you about my winning the award and you showed me two thumbs up. I miss the feeling of knowing that you're so proud of me.

Jane has problems with her legs, dy. And we're horribly worried. She's very stubborn though and somehow feels she's still very youthful inside out. Pls do keep an eye on her, dy. We can't lose her too.

I've been travelling quite a bit. I needed to get away to let my sorrowful mind rest. It was good while it lasted, I still feel so much pain now. Though I have a job and I'm keeping busy, I know my life isn't one that anyone would be very proud of. I am not doing what I truly like, but I know I would, in due time. I just want to leave the country, so much. I want to walk the earth, take pictures of flowers, help the poor and the sick and also take care of mom and Jane. Pls do pray for me that I will be able to do so in the very near future, dy. I'm so tired of all these waiting and feeling miserable that I will stop self pitying already. I'm the only one in the family who's left behind from moving forward. I know you wouldn't want that for me, you love me too much to see me cry all the time.

I know that you're well but knowing that I'm not will not make you happier. I love you daddy. I love you so, so much. And I miss you so, so much too. Pls at least be with me in my dreams..