I've always renumbered my age to a mere number 18 but the recent days' events have indeed reminded me of my real age and also the responsibilities I should start to take at home.

Daddy leaving us out of a sudden (well.. we expected him to leave but not THAT soon..) has left a huge gap for the family and I have also realised that ertie alone cannot handle so many situations. Ah che, as usual, will not be handling any important part of the decision making and Jerome's a bit too young. There are just so many things to do, so many things to think about, plans to make, so many hearts to mend including my own.

This is definitely worse than a break up or getting ditched by someone emotionally. This is losing a loved one, my own father. Tears have long run out (well, haven't cried since yesterday's funeral mass) and fear has replaced much of the tears. I have to be strong but what event or what little life situation will eventually break the dam? When will we finally really move on? Will we ever?

I'm already missing him so much...