Just finishing a task for you, lil sis.

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Vic
2. Victoria
3. Vicky

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. my goldfish eyes
2. my shoulders
3. my scars (well, it’s ON the body.. counts??)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. the gerdoings.. :P ew.
2. my nose
3. my hair.. it’s not wavy, or straight, or curly.. it’s everything.

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Chinese (my dad’s pure, my mom’s mostly)
2. Peranakan @ Nyonya (my mom’s ancestors...) – yeah, and that’s why I look Malay!!
3. Dutch (also from my mom’s side)

THREE THINGS YOU CAN'T STAND:
1. stupid people, especially stupid girls.
2. being cheated on
3. seeing anyone in pain

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. snakes.
2. accepting death – not my own, but of others
3. what I am capable of when I’m pissed.

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SHOWS:
1. The Prince who Turned Into a Frog ,a Taiwanese soap opera..
2. Queer As Folk, American bent series
3. oh well.. anything on Travel and Living

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE JAPANESE ANIMES:
1. Not
2. A
3. Fan

THREE OF YOUR CURRENT FAVORITE SONGS:
1. Kue Rak Tae – “Forever Love”, by Seven
2. Moon River by someone..
3. The Prince who Turned Into a Frog album, practically.

THREE MOVIES YOU CAN WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN:
1. Soul Plane.. :)
2. Anything Pixar.
3. Can’t think of anything else??

THREE MOVIES YOU WOULD LIKE TO WATCH:
1. TFTF, Tokyo Drift
2. More Harry Potter movies! Yips.
3. Garfield??

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. My puffs.
2. Water. (and tea, actually.. but I’m banned.)
3. Sleep

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Clothes.
2. Under clothes?
3. Accessories.

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. stability
2. good arguments
3. comfortable love. (I’m greedy, so I added both. J)

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS ABOUT THE OPPOSITE GENDER THAT APPEAL TO YOU: (let’s bend the italics a bit more…)
1. cute cheeks
2. comfy shoulders
3. an understanding character

THREE BAD HABITS:
1. postponing assignments
2. overpuffing
3. annoying people

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. shooting flowers :)
2. cooking for people (I hate preparations though..)
3. shopping!

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. travel
2. do my assignments?? But I’m a bum
3. puff la

THREE CAREERS YOU'RE CONSIDERING OR CURRENTLY PURSUING:
1. photographer
2. run inns and resorts
3. tour guide!

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Thailand!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2. US
3. Okay.. I’m greedy.. all over ASIA!!!!!!!!! (and back to Thailand again!)

THREE KIDS' NAMES YOU LIKE:
1. Let’s
2. Ignore
3. This???

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. walk the world
2. produce a big book with lots of flower pictures
3. have flower pics published in N.Geographic

THREE WAYS THAT YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A GIRL (or guy):
1. I enjoy shopping
2. My mood swings with my hormones
3. I enjoy dressing up when I’m happy???

INITIALS OF THREE CRUSHES:
1. C
2. R
3. S

THREE PEOPLE YOU TAG TO DO THE SURVEY:
1. Just, if you would?
2. Well.. Meh, if you would too?
3. Haha. Ertie?

I'm emotionally paralysed when I'm at home but as soon as I'm with my friends, tears just start streaming, if I let them.

I've had very great friends help me through. One who brings me to the chill by the beach in the middle of the night.. and another who just keeps me sane enough, yet insane in my own way.

And of course I've got you, Sunshine. You've been all I could ever ask for.

It's a trying period now but I'm sure I'll be alright after a few more bawling sessions upon returning to KL. And for the time being, I'll just hang on and 'hang in there'.

Darn you blogger... It took me 2 days just to log in to blog! Gawd.. Passwords and usernames have never seem more confusing!!! Argh.

I had a dream 2 nights ago. I dreamt about my dad and that he was alright. Pretty thin, he was.. but alright and very happy. Still shaking his head, dancing to some nice tunes he hums.

I've been longing for dreams of him for the past week or so and finally had that wonderful dream at Bunan Gega - was away for a YCS mid year camp.

Despite bursting with happiness, I felt equally sad too. It's only in dreams now that I can see him and this realisation isn't easy at all. In my dream, daddy didn't say anything to me but I was holding his arm and he was happy.

I don't know how to console myself or to stay as strong as I should be and I don't know how long it will take to be really alright. I know the situation hasn't really sunk in but it sure is slowly sinking.

People ask if I'm alright and of course I reassure them that I am. The truth is I'm not even sure about what I feel anymore. Am I really alright? I really doubt that.

I've always renumbered my age to a mere number 18 but the recent days' events have indeed reminded me of my real age and also the responsibilities I should start to take at home.

Daddy leaving us out of a sudden (well.. we expected him to leave but not THAT soon..) has left a huge gap for the family and I have also realised that ertie alone cannot handle so many situations. Ah che, as usual, will not be handling any important part of the decision making and Jerome's a bit too young. There are just so many things to do, so many things to think about, plans to make, so many hearts to mend including my own.

This is definitely worse than a break up or getting ditched by someone emotionally. This is losing a loved one, my own father. Tears have long run out (well, haven't cried since yesterday's funeral mass) and fear has replaced much of the tears. I have to be strong but what event or what little life situation will eventually break the dam? When will we finally really move on? Will we ever?

I'm already missing him so much...