Sunday, September 11, 2005

Heartache. Ouch.

It's not like I've not tried to let you go. It has been really hard 3 months, you know. Since Day One have I tried to let go off all sorts of funny feelings that shouldn't be around. It's not as easy as you think. Crushes do not just come and go. Some stupid ones stay.

It hurts so much to have you say all those things. I wish again and again that the crush did not happen. I just want things to be the same. Like before. Before all this absurdity. Tears won't help and neither will temper- flaring. All I need to do now is to get a grip of myself, and like you said, let go. So easy it sounds, yet so hard in reality.

Unfair. Life's unfair. You shouldn't have told me what you did.. it would be so much better if I make myself let go. I was going to, anyway. I didn't even confess anything! No confession - no direct approach! Sometimes I do think you think too highly of yourself. And you're all too serious. If it is what you said it is, just a crush, why can't you just act normal till I do?

If you think it's so hard dealing with someone who likes you.. try dealing with someone you like that you can't. Gee. You're mean even though you're trying so hard not to be. You can only think of yourself. Try thinking for someone else for once.

I hate all this shit. I hate all this shit that's so shitty I can't control the situation. Shit, shit, shit.

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