I hate you for all the promises made, never kept - the emptiness of it all.
I hate you for making me cry though you've told me you'll make me laugh.
I hate you for bringing me to heaven, only to drop me down to hell.
I hate you for all the memories that cause so much pain.
I hate you for the insanity you drive me to.
I hate you for breaking my heart.
I hate you for the way you treat me - even dry ice feel less cold.
I hate you for losing another friend.
I hate you for giving me flicker of hope.. Hope washed away by despair.

I really, really hate you. The fact that I've never loved a guy more makes me hate you more than I really want to.

Dinner with you was wonderful, Nic. Had a good time checking friendster together. :)

It's not easy, but it's not impossible...

Feeling... torn.

I took down my memory notice board today. The dust stained my fingers, my tears strained my eyes.. Letting go, saying goodbye.. it's all just so, so hard.. isn't it?

If I had a chance to write the story of my life, I would definitely add you as one of my happily ever afters.

You.
Photography.
My family.
Flowers.
Travels.

What lies in my tomorrows? More sorrows? A final glimpse of hope?

I feel so insecure. I'm terrified.

I just bloody want to be friends again. Is that too much to ask?

I thought I knew what it felt to hurt.. I thought I knew the true meaning of pain...

And then I met you.

It took me 6 1/2 years to gather the courage to face my past. I was mad for almost 6 years and with further preparation, embraced whatever remained of my friendship and moved on.

Is history repeating itself again? Am I just doomed to meet people with heart problems, have fights with them, suffer alone and embrace history 6 years later?

I don't want whatever that happened before to happen again. I want to be friends with him again.

Welcome back, Chia

I have my bestfriend back. After 6 1/2 years of squabbles, misunderstandings, conflicts and unhappy thoughts, everything's finally okay now.

It's good to have you, Mhy, Miggy, Alexa and Hansie in my life now. Our friendship's different, but it's more fun now, isn't it? Life has changed and so have we but I guess the bond between us has grown much stronger through all the negative things that has happened, through distance and through the recent gathering.

I am just so glad, and so happy to have you back. *Hugs*, best friend. Welcome back, Chia.

Goodbyes...

It gets a bit sad to say goodbye to friends who leave. I know it's not forever, they will come back.. it's just not easy to bid farewell for the time being, especially when you know that they won't be able to hangout for dinner or for yumcha sessions on a regular basis anymore.

Gabby left for Taiwan today. Am missing her already.

Missing you too, Caryn.

And when March comes next year, it will be my turn. Will goodbyes be easier if you're the one leaving?

Hello from Penang!

In Penang now. Gawd, I'm tired. After running here and there, dashing after jeepneys and buses and almost all types of transportation in the Philippines, not to mention dragging my bags as well, I finally came back on the 30th.

I like the Philippines. Despite the mad rush almost every moment of my everyday there, I enjoy it. It's a different environment, different pace, different culture and a difference I am willing to get used to, and be fond of.

Trip was bloody good. Sharing will come much later as I'm still recouping in Penang for the weekend...

Good to be back, though.