It's alright to be alone now.
It's alright to walk alone, eat alone, amuse myself with my own thoughts.
But there are just moments that I still want to cry.
I want to look back at my past and wonder why things couldn't have turned out differently.
Don't get me wrong, I know all the answers perfectly well.
I am just hoping for the impossible, for the otherwise.
And today I realized, although I'm wishing and hoping that you would love me or
at least like me, I can't help but fear if you just might.
Whether or not you do, the ending won't be happy and I'll still end up in tears.
I want to listen to Charles.
I want to control my mind but your smile weakens my capacity and capability of keeping myself sane, or right.
Your jokes make me laugh, but it bites into my soul when I consider the possibilities or impossibilities. I can't help but bitterly wonder, why bother laughing so much now, knowing I'll just cry more very soon?
I just wish upon the absent wishing star that this would go away. This dream, illusion, insanity, suffocation, madness, childishness. This infatuation.
Release me, now. But you can't? I want so much to break up with you, but I can't.
You just don't ask to leave when you were never asked to stay.
